Gar Smith – 2015-12-16 03:35:01
Special to Environmentalist Against War
No Boots on the Ground
(December 15, 2015) — Remember when (not that long ago) President Barack Obama promised not to put any “boots on the ground” in Iraq and Syria? Well, now he has announced plans to deploy as many as 150 Special Ops forces in the region (despite the fact that neither Iraq nor Syria has requested or wants these new US troops inside their borders).
So how does Obama avoid the serious charge that he’s broken a promise?
Here’s one possibility: When the troops arrive, perhaps they won’t actually be wearing military-issued boots. Maybe they will charge into battle bare-footed (How exceedingly macho!). Or perhaps they will be issued some kind of non-boot footwear — like iron-plated sandals or up-armored crocs.
Clearly, Obama needs some help to honor his boot-free vow while sending US troops to attack ISIS and its adherents 6,000 miles from the US homeland.
Herewith, a short list of Obamawear for the well-heeled soldier:
Sneakers: For those dicey, behind-the-lines Delta Force rescue missions.
Waders: Perfect if we are going to plunge into another military quagmire.
Clogs: If we’re prepared to get inextricably stuck in another endless war.
Slippers: For negotiating those “slippery slopes.”
Galoshes: For the Navy’s Seal Team Six. (Much more practical than scuba fins.)
Pumps: (Now that women have been cleared for combat) Suitable for seizing oil fields.
Saddle shoes: Because we’ll be saddled with the burden of another endless war.
And we should not forget to send a new load of footwear to the Iraqi forces we’ve spent millions to train.
Based on their performance to date, the shoe of choice would be loafers.
Finally, we can all send the President a message by mailing shoes to the Oval Office. And what could be more fitting for a president who breaks his promises than a gift box filled with flip-flops.
In the meantime, I suspect most Americans are growing weary of these needless, heedless, endless conflicts and would be ready to simply say: “War is a croc: give it the boot.”